Coolmira Scholarship

thanks and love you guys

coolmira — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:50:10 +0900

lately knew exactly.
students have given me encourage when I felt discouraged.
too much grateful students for me.
Thanks guys.

You guys looked like being scared of loud voice though.
But you guys were really cute at that time, making me smile.
Thanks to my voice, u guys really got attention, right?
I really loved you guys' attention. Thanks.

Whenever I was stuck in being light-headed during the class, making my voice volume loud, showing smiley face.
love you guys, really appreciate and feel thankful.

2 more days to go, be patient to get comfortable with hot chocolate.
I think I'm quite good at enjoying being alone rather than being boring.
I really like myself in this way.

This too shall pass

coolmira — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 06:04:31 +0900

"This too shall pass" is a proverb indicating that all material conditions, positive or negative, are temporary.

When I'm at the top of mountain, be humble.
when I get discouraged, be courageous.

Mira, be satisfied that you did best.

YES, I am. I don't regret my heart, energy and time.
I just hurt, that's all.
I think I'm having enough hurt.
I just need alittle time more to move onto the another new life.
thank you for meeting me and being with me whenever I need you, HF.

quite busy enough to have a good day.
I did a mistake, this is the second time since I did the same mistake 10 or 11 yrs ago.
all students were waiting for me, but I thought today's class is done. so I left school as soon as I thought I was done. When I got back to school, there was 8mins left to be done though, and I felt alittle sorry to students though, it was funnier than being serious for me. really funny, cute and silly I am.ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

so grateful day R. appreciated that I gave up having my belly dancing class to listen to his problems.
I gave alittle help to american family as a typing translator.

it was great day for me. Thanks HF.

season 5

coolmira — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 19:00:46 +0900

being alone, apart from, away from, taking a break, breaking up
these words are so mean words for me for now.
"mean" vocabulary has cruel meaning. I learned it lately.
not just with dictionary, but with real feeling.
so mean....so mean....
who had a knife inside of heart?
eventhough I can hurt from this knife later, I hoped it was a fake knife between my relationship at least. But it was not "at least", it was my big wishes.
It really happens to me now.

I came back my home safely.
It means I was in unsafe place, huh?--;
I was alone originally.
as you know, that's why I'm easy to be patient about being alone.
I hope I'm not crying.
There was a good excuse like delayed flights about my poor face on thursday morning at school.
But...If I cry alot today for now, there's not a proper excuse for tomorrow.
If someone asks me why I look tired or sad, I need to explain or make a joke without my mood. I do not want to talk about my sad feeling, I do not want to feel and think more.
I will just write down and enjoy what I'm doing now.

I guessed alittle bit the time u said I could have a date with the other guys.
But I didn't want, feeling bad from your saying. thinking why u were saying to me.
feeling weird, I resisted accepting the thing u don't want me to be your gf.

whenever u told me "I'm great, wonderful, special, close to u and means alot to u"
I thought "do I have to be always only g.w.s.c.m person for him forever?"
I was murmuring by myself "sometimes when I can be an weird, bitter, bad, weak, annoying person to you, could you love my flaws even?"

I guessed when u said to me at least my English was better than 2 months ago, I wondered why u were thinking of that?

Since she hurts from love, by the time she recovers from hurted heart, she searches for her love again. so CHA MI RA is an idiot.

need to go to grocery store to buy tooth paste, towel for dishes, tooth brushes and cereal, milk....

raining again..hate it.
headache...
sorry to myself.
giving myself pain.
Mira, I love you, there's someone who really loves you, don't be sad too much. life is what u have to move on. feel sad when u can't resist, just be nice to yourself. I love you, Mira. I love you Mira.
I'd like to hear this echo forever
I'm too thirsty of my soul and love.

10h 15 march 7, 2010

coolmira — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 10:16:16 +0900

life goes alone (as HF leads)
loneliness is my buddy
dealing with hardship is hobby
feeling happy is the result

missing you

coolmira — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 23:20:39 +0900

sore throat, chilly body, but at least my heart is happy.
Because my brother showed his sorry to me.
How many times is it going to be happened to me this kind of weird situation?
a little gloomy I am at the same time.
nobody is beside me for now.
while he is sleeping, want to kiss and hug him. miss him so much.

the quiet mood is what I really want though, at the same time this is gloomy also.
thinking about many changeable things nowadays.
why are those happening to me?
It means Heavenly father wants me to be changed?
wonder..., but I expect HF gives me the most precious thing.

1st project
FCG's Severance Agency

missing someone, falling asleep is not bad.
except that I can't kiss and hug with real one.

until I am worn out with this schedule, let's do my best in this year.
This memorable time table in my life proves that money makes my body worn out.

	M	T	W	T	F
9h10 - 9h 55	303	201		101	101
		306	201	303	306
	306	204	309		104
	204	104		309
		309	306	104	201
2h25 - 3h10	101	303	303	204	309

3h40 - 4h 15	1	3h30 AS	1	3h 30 AS	1
4h20 - 5h 05	2	~ 5h	2	~ 5h	2
5h15 - 6h	3		3		3
6h 05 - 6h 50	4	SJ at cafe	4	SJ at cafe	4

9h - 9h 50	BD	TaeKwonDo	BD	TaeKwonDo	BD
		English		French
11h	S	L	E	E	P

6H	G	e	t	U	p

I am "I", not "i"

coolmira — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 17:33:08 +0900

22 hrs at SFO

Around midnight

A security guard riding a bike at SFO.
I envied him.
saw LDS missionaries were passing through the hall.
got eye contact with one of them. so cute smile.
A woman who looked like Arabian asked me, r u using Wi-fi?
I smiled, nodding my head instead of saying "Yes"
I saw a variety of people like pilots, not pretty flight attendants, kids, chinese people, a few koreans passed.

2 a.m.

She came back to me again, she said she is from Srilanka and living in Calgary. Her destination is Seoul like me but hers is Singapore
Airline. Because of cancer and visiting Yong Dong Severance Hospital.

I feel good now, alittle bit scared of too quiet airport though, sitting on the chair.

A guy said, do you need sth like water or soda?
I said, I already had. thanks. do I look like homeless when he saw me? weird for me.
he kept asking about my country code and telling the meaning of "Mira" in spanish is "look".
How many times I heard the meaning of Mira in spanish...
getting boring...to hear...
he was leaving , telling me "stay here,I'll be back an hour and half.
uh-oh...

I'm a witch, not a homeless!
getting sleepy...sleepy...
I had better go to hotel though, I couldn't go and I can't go still.
makes me more nervous and scared of sth new I didn't prepare and expect.
But bodies are getting exhausted...
help.....help......

I thought I have my own way to enjoy my own style freedom.
The freedom I called makes people who were watching me a deep sigh sometimes.
looked like my laziness, at the same time it was my own spare space.
one of my dull habits, but I love it.
making me stay 22 hrs more, SFO caught me.
22hrs!

내가 소중히 생각하는 나만의 자유라고 부르는 것이.
때로는 보는 사람을 한숨짓게 하고
게으름이었던 동시에 여유였던
나의 무딘 습성하나가
나를 샌프란시스코 공항에 22시간을 더 기다리게 했다.
22시간!의 의미는.

지금쯤이면 한국 도착했을 지금 이시간,
11시간째다.
샌프란 현지 시간 자정을 조금 넘었다.
뱅기 놓치구 유나이티드 에어라인가서
수퍼바이저까지 4명, 얘기를 했지.
졌다.
쏠렉공항에서 샌프란 공항 날씨탓에 모든 비행기 지연되니
비행기 지연되도 이상없을거라던 유나이티드 여직원 너!
너한테 각서 받아왔어야 했어.
샌프란 착륙한다는 방송은 1시 54분.
내 한국행 뱅기 이륙시간은 1시 30분.

전광판 보면서 97번 게이트로 향하던 중...
flight closed
진짜 가버린거야.
승객 명단에 나 있구
쏠렉에서 발권했다는 것도 알 수 있는 인간들이
손님하나때메 250명 기다리게 할수없다며
정확히 30분만에 날아가버렸다.
250 passenger vs mira
250대 1의 존재는 뭔가!
what is my existence?
Yu-na made 4.5million peoples' existence know to the world.
but ...I.... I.... 250 vs me...

연아는 4천 500만의 존재감을 세계에 알린 1명이구.
난...난...250대 1도 못해본 나는...

유나이티드 항공직원들과 4시간에 걸친 말 씨름 끝에...
괴물같은 것들..
에너지 소진되면 다른 것들이 뎀비구
복식으로 덤비구... 비겁한 것들.

눈물나지 당근..
내 눈물이 그래도 내 맘을 녹여주드라.
유타에서 당장 뱅기타고 날아오지 않는 윌이.
밥 먹으라고, 호텔 가서 자라고 말하는 윌이 섭섭했는데.
엄청난 바램이었다는 거..
학교에 이멜로 연락하고 전화안했다는 비판 들으면서
윌한테 고맙게 생각하게 됐어.
좀 더 잘 해주고, 편하게 해주고 올껄. 미안해 윌.
I should have been nicer and should make him comfortable.
Someday if u have a chance to visit Korea, I will be nice to you more.
But you are already better than me in many areas. miss you and envy Dan.
이번에 한국오면 내가 잘 할께. 요리는 너가 잘하니까 니가 하구.

사랑하는 윌,
방에 쳐박혀서 혼자 이런 저런 상상하면서
싸이코 연애 fcg였던 거 용서해줘.
사랑해 많이.
많이 보고 싶어.
아직 니가 밟고 서있는 미국땅이여서인지
아직도 너랑 같은 마을에 있는 거 같다.

보고 싶다 많이.

manicotti

Belgian Waffle House

Pork Rice Egg Batter

A pretty girl, actually pretty picture in a lucky day

Will wearing Marc Jacobs Jacket
I really loved this Jacket!
the color of Jacket looks like khaki
you deserve you are cocky
you are super, cool and awesome for me.

* 윌이 케익이나 쿠키가 아닌 밥, 아니 음식을 해줘야 한다고

마니꼬티를 만들어왔었다.

정말 고마워 해야 할 당시에는 "당연하지!" 라고 생각하고

이렇게 뒤에서야 눈물나게 고맙고 사랑스럽다 윌이.

* 도시락데이 화욜에 준비했던

돼지고기+쌀+부침가루+계란으로 만든 동그랑땡?^^

맛있었다고 말해줘서 고마웠어.

* 벨지언 와플!

윌의 절친, 댄과 윌의 스페셜 레스토랑, 소박하다 못해 초라해보이기까지 하는. 하지만..왜 일까? 이 레스토랑은 또 가고 싶어지게 한다. 윌과 나로 하여금. 그랬다 정말.

좋았다.

윌이 이 사진에 이 말 해달래.

사진에 기분이 안좋아보이게 나온 윌은 사진이 그렇게 보인거라구.

자기는 나랑 있어서 너무 행복했다고. 꼭 적어 달라고.

보고 싶다 지금쯤 쌔근 쌔근 자고 있을 너. 많이 보고 싶다.

I feel like taking off burden clothes now.
so good to feel and think some stuff in my life.
That's my name!

I think I'm so cute to myself!
yes I am.^^

origin                                       sanskrit
meaning                                   prosperous

origin                                       slavonic
Meaning                                   great; famous

origin                                        latin
meaning                                   astonishing

origin                                         English
meaning                                    variant of Myra


5 a.m.

too sleepy now.. I have to be awake 6 more hrs. too sleepy...I think in an airplane I'm going to sleep whole time. toooooo sleepy.......

dizzy..headache..feeling disgusting alittle...5 30 in the morning in slc..
But 4 40 am
my brain and body automatically fall down again and again......
Someone saw me! ><;

7 a.m.

too cold.
got one more hot chocolate.
need to brush my teeth at least without taking a shower.
fcg at San Francisco Airport as a homeless stayed up all night.

8 24 a.m. in SFO

appreciate my students.
saying like "miss you, did you come back? you were not in your classroom yet. where are you?" thanks 애들아..go ma wa ma ni.

9 59 in the morning at SFO

Willingly, go to Japan today.
Willingly, apologize about being late to come back to school.
happily, walk to my way like learning, teaching and loving.
so excited to go back to Korea now.

In terms of speaking in English in this year!
I became to think of working at airport is kind of cool job more than being flight attendant.
hmm
I got confidence about my English speaking.
I can do speak well people who works at airport when I really do try.
until I can express my feeling and idea without vocabulary frontier!

in terms of my health
belly dancing with Sun Jeong
running track again
mountain climbing with Cona

in terms of relationship
Just having fun with guys if I have a chance and If I feel like enjoying.
interactive communication with students
let things happen between us freely

in terms of money in this year sweating, chasing my jobs more than thinking about going on a trip. day class, nigh class and one private tutoring opening 2,500 monthly saving account again NO more accessories! No massages! No manicure! No more clothes! Clear!
I am "I", not "i"

feb. 27, 2010

coolmira — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 06:21:17 +0900

Love is...not only romantic, beyond being selfish and Love can cause conflict also.

"No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."

- John 13:8 -

One day a wife wanted to divorce, so she came to talk with a pastor.
Then she said, "until when do I have to do laundry in my life?, I don't want to sacrifice my life to my husband forever."
But doing laundry and preparing foods,etc are so important for everybody's life.
What I can do something that people don't regard things as worthless needs sacrifice.
If you love, you have to love the person's not only the scent of flower, but also the smell.
Love is relationship.
Eating together means making a relationship.
But when someone who doesn't have afford to treat your dinner wants to treat you, you should get someone's offer. Eventhough it's burden to you. That's relationship as well as Love.
If you don't like someone's offer between you and someone, it's not your relationship/connection any more. sometimes being loved can be burden though, what you feel burden builds relationship/connection.
Like Jesus Christ did...

by pastor Joon Min, Kang
2010년 2월 25일

03h 19 AM

coolmira — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:19:13 +0900

controling desire, being patient until it's the right time and await.
l learned that these are worthy and valuable things for me now.
I can go back to my routine willingly.
But I feel triste about being apart from again.
My heart missimg him so much is so strong, at the same time so fragile also.
I can't let myself feel triste.
try to read books and his story though, can't only pay attention to do.
cooking is kind of hard working for me.
Takes me lots of energy.
instead of doing exercise, do it. cooking.

06h 58 a.m
got two dishes.
One is for my broom, the other is for Jamal who gives me a ride on tuesdays.
I couldn't help cooking, because it's the last time for me to cook on tuesdays.

- Picture -

Temperate Wisdom 절제하는 지혜

coolmira — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 06:42:03 +0900

Man’s happiness is not in satisfying one’s desire but in restraining to greed. The one who can control greed is a wise person. Human desires are endless. Spiritual discipline is about putting the desire under control. Christianity does not condemn the desire. Its goal is not to eliminate the desire. The desire is also given by God. The real issue is about how to control and sublimate that desire. Person without a desire is not a human anymore. He had already died. To live is to desire. People live because of their appetite for food, and they love and get married because of their sexual desire. And they bear children. However, God did not give us sexual desire just for physical gratification sake. Sexual desire is given for conceiving and birthing a new life. In addition, it is because we have a desire for success that we learn, challenge, and accomplish.

Do not pray to God to take away your desire. It is an unscriptural prayer. It is an immature prayer. Rather, pray to God to reveal the desire which is in you. In some sense the desire is as hope, fire, passion, and energy in us. Knowing the desire inside of you means that you know yourself. Therefore, do not pray for removal of the desire, rather pray for the realization of the desire and for the ability to rule over the desire. Pray that you can use the desire and its energy for the holy work of God.

Temperance is knowing when to stop. Temperance is not exceeding the limit. The real power is a well-controlled power. It is a restrained power. If water in the dam is not held under control, it could lead to a huge tragedy. However, when water in the dam is under control, it can create electrical power. When we are better at temperance, we reach closer to freedom. A person who is moderate in eating and drinking is free from food. A person who can control one’s passion is free from desire. He will be able to overcome any temptation.

Temperance is conserving. It is conserving the energy. The issue is not a lack of the energy, but a misuse of the energy. Wasting precious energy is the issue. When do we waste our energy? Our energy is wasted when we worry about useless matters. Our energy is wasted when we mind other people’s business. Our power is wasted when we criticize and condemn others. Our energy is wasted when we struggle to receive praise and recognition from everyone around us. Conserve your energy. Let your energy be focused. Then the energy inside of us will become more intensive. Use this intense energy on doing good work.

Temperance is reserving word. Try to save your word a little. You will never lose from being silent. A person who reserves his word is the one who knows the power of the word. Temperance is holding back your anger. Do not be angry. Uncontrollable anger destroys himself and his neighbors. Avoid making important choice out of your anger. Temperance is making less promise. Carelessly made promise becomes a burden to us. Make promise that can be kept. This is wisdom. Temperance is treating matters preciously. Buy things that you only need. Try to spend less than what you earn. Abundance is not in earning a lot of money but in spending less money. Abundance is in giving thanks to what you are given and in enjoying them.

True freedom is sticking to do what is necessary and not doing what is unnecessary. True freedom is in temperance. Temperance is choosing the pain before you can enjoy the pleasure. Temperance is a fruit of the Spirit. It is impossible to bear a fruit of temperance only through man’s will and power. We need Holy Spirit’s help. For this reason, temperate heart is a holy heart. Temperate wisdom is the wisdom from God. I hope that you experience true freedom through the wisdom of temperance. I bless you, my loving saints of God.

Rev. Joshua Choon-min Kang, from the Pastorate

이 게시물을...

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awaiting heart

coolmira — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 04:04:12 +0900

www.nlvchurch.org

There has been a word lingering around in my heart for the past few days. This word has become my friend. This word has been making me think and to ponder. The word is 'waiting.' I wondered why the word 'waiting' suddenly made a visit in my heart. I think the reason is because of Christmas. The innocence of my childhood that longed for Christmas came back alive. For no apparent reason, I long for this coming Christmas more than any other times. I keep feeling like something wonderful and meaningful might happen.

Christmas is the day of Jesus' birth. On this day, the human history has experienced an extraordinary life. It was a life like none that they've ever experienced. It was a new life. It was God's life. Jesus is God. He was conceived by the Holy Spirit and was born in a human body. He was born as utterly God and utterly human. God was born! That's why it's called the "Holy Birth" (Korean way of calling Christmas). Jesus was born as a new life and came to give us that life. Everything one gives to someone something of their own. No one can give what they do not have. Jesus possessed the very life of God. That's how gives us the life of God. Jesus came to give us God's life and to offer His salvation.

God waited to send Jesus on earth. He waited for a long time. He waited until the due time. God is the God of waiting. After Jesus' ascent, God further waited to send the Holy Spirit on our way. Jesus told the disciples to not leave Jerusalem but to wait for what the Father has promised. The disciples believed and waited - they waited for the promised Holy Spirit. They waited and longed. They prayed as they longed. God finally sent the Holy Spirit on Pentecost to the disciples who were waiting in prayer.

Life reflects waiting. Waiting reflects yearning. To yearn is to long for someone, or for some thing. To wait is to have expectation. An expectant heart makes us flutter. To expect is to have hope. There is nothing that holds us stronger than hope. Hope is the power that has defeated despair. For that reason, hope is powerful. Like a wild flower penetrating through the asphalt, hope too penetrates through despair. Hope is like a roly-poly. A roly-poly stands right up just when it seemed to have fallen. A roly-poly stands up again no matter how many times it has fallen. A life living with hope is the life like that of a roly-poly.

One of the wisdom God longs to teach us the wisdom of waiting. To wait is to persevere. Professor Young-Bok Shin once said, "Waiting makes us persevere, look farther, and gives us the vision to see light even in the midst of darkness." You will be used by God when you wait. Waiting yields the opportunity for a use. When you wait, you will finally see. When you wait, you will be given a bright vision. Waiting yields a pathway. Waiting makes doors open.

Waiting is trusting - trusting God's promises. We can wait when we trust God's promises. Waiting is mystery. Nothing seems to happen while waiting but miraculous things happen in the process. A pregnant mother waits 10 months for her baby. It is the waiting that makes the child grow.

Waiting is not a time wasted. Waiting allows God to work in our life. While we wait, God works on our behalf. God prepares the way. The New Life Vision Church was born through waiting. The New Life Vision Church will grow through the process of waiting. Let us wait for Christmas with an expectant heart. Let us wait as we expect miraculous things God will do through us. Let us wait in prayer. Our good God will surely do good things in all of our members' families.

Rev. Joshua Choon-min Kang

from the Pastorate

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